Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
