She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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