whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Bring me that man meat
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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