your thong is hanging out like whoa
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
4 words: hood of his car
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
