his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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