The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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