And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
