I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
well you can't waste a boner
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
