she woke up with a sticky ear
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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