So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
