the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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