That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
