She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
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