I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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