Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Also, beer. Big fan.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Randomize
