Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
