Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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