I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
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