His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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