8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I can't put those talents on a resume
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
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