I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
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