As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
