he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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