i may or may not be watching the land before time
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
