yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
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