Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
