I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
