Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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