i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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