It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
