i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
plz talk dirty to me
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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