I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
no, he came in my armpit
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
