Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
