Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Randomize
