You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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