I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
