well you can't waste a boner
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
