I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
