So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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