? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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