He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
