I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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