I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
