Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
