There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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