I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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