We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
one two three fourrrrnication!
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
