Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
