Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
