This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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