just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
