$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
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