Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
