Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
