Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
did i just pee glitter
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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