Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
